If you’re in a long‑term relationship and you sometimes imagine leaving… starting over, living alone, feeling lighter…you are not broken, ungrateful, or secretly checked out.

From an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and attachment perspective, fantasizing about leaving is often not a sign that love is gone. More often, it’s a signal of unmet attachment needs, emotional overwhelm, or a nervous system looking for relief.

“Should we do couples therapy? Or should I go on my own first?”

It’s a tender question. Underneath this question there is both hope (maybe this could help) and fear (what if it makes things worse or confirms something I’m not ready to know).

There’s no one right answer. But there are some gentle guideposts that can help you sense which kind of support might be most helpful right now.